I have been married long enough to have learned a few things about healthy relationships. In fact, I’m once divorced and twice married. I have over two decades of marital experience overall, and some of the lessons I have learned come from doing things right, but most of the lessons I've learned have come from areas where I fell short. In the long run, and after the divorce, I acknowledged and accepted my flaws, and changed over time for the better. I share this part of my story with you in hopes that you will not make some of the avoidable, and harmful mistakes.

Perhaps one of the biggest mistakes you can make in marriage is to stop dating your wife. It gets harder to make dating your wife a priority as life marches on (think kids, illness, job loss, caring for aging parents, etc.). It is close to impossible if you and your spouse are not getting along due to stress, communication challenges, unhealthy conflict, or breaches of trust. Of course, addressing these matters, and any issues that are creating distance between the two of you must be done in a healthy way to foster an environment where dating will be again welcomed and enjoyable.

Hope Byus Coaching, LLC works with married couples on how to use the tips above and others, to strengthen their relationships. As coaches, we work with couples on identifying the issues that are creating problems and support couples in creating habits and behaviors that will foster healthy interactions and ultimately move them to mending their marriages. We would be happy to have a free session with you to explore the possibilities.

If you both are in a good space, meaning able to be mentally present and good company to each other, see to it that you continue to engage in activities where you can focus on further cultivating a healthy relationship. See to it that you put time and effort into maintaining a strong bond, the oneness that is intended in a marital union. Your dating doesn’t always have to be activities involving food or movies either. You can focus on shared interests or hobbies, or you can develop new hobbies. Take a dance class or consider a couples massage. If you are athletically inclined, go for a hike or take up other active outdoor activities. Anything enjoyable, where you and your spouse can be solely focused on each other in a healthy way, will go a long way in fostering a better marriage. These activities don’t have to break the bank, you can take time to connect without spending money as well. Your dates simply need to be high quality relationship building activities that will make, and keep your relationship enjoyable.

So men, my advice to you is simple: date your wives frequently! Perhaps you are better than I was, and you never stopped taking your wife on dates like you did before you got married. In that case, congratulations! I wish someone guided me to do the same thing. I wish someone had been around to tell me that marrying your fiancée does not mean that you will never have to pursue her again, or maintain a love relationship with her for the duration. It would have been great to understand that the wedding marks a beginning more that an ending. Maybe if someone had been there to tell me that the point of the whole thing was to focus on more than just marrying your fiancée I would have sought to find out what I wasn't understanding. I could have searched and found out that the point was to always focus on strengthening your marriage and that fulfillment was in the WORK necessary during journey after the wedding and not the wedding itself. Oh, how helpful it would have been to know that winning (and keeping) the heart of your wife takes WORK; repeated time, intentional effort, and a few special dates from time to time. Whether you have been married for three months or for thirty years, make it a habit to invite your wife out on dates. She will be so glad you did, and so will you!

 Hope Byus Coaching LLC can help

What decision do you need to make that will move you toward your goals? What steps does this decision involve? Without limits, what does a fulfilled life look like for you? Are you excited about your future or are you facing it with apprehension and fear?

For those of you who could use an accountability partner for ongoing support and inspiration, a professional coach can help you to find out what you need and can help inspire you to get there. Our goal is to successfully support you in realizing your full potential and assist in giving your life a new direction.

Our task oriented, collaborative sessions will help you to identify any problems and concerns that stand in the way of achieving your goals, and we will support you in applying the actions I shared earlier. We understand that breakthroughs require growth and growth requires vision followed by consistent action to successfully reach your goals. Book a free discovery session now!