Change Can Be Difficult

Even for those of us that are full of ambition and resiliency, change can be hard to embrace. Starting over from scratch can be difficult and taking two steps backward to find our way forward simply doesn’t seem appealing no matter how promising the outcome may seem. Many of us are taught from an early age to accept things as they are and maintain the existing routine because the known patterns are both familiar and safe. We are creatures of habit. I remember the first time my father made breakfast for my brother and I while our mother was recovering from a brief hospital stay. I repeatedly told my dad that he was not making breakfast the way mom did it. His cooking was edible (and I did eat) but his technique went outside of the defined pattern and for me, it was a bit unsettling.

You also are a creature of habit with daily patterns, and rituals, whether a morning coffee routine, the essential “prepare for the workday” ritual, the afterwork happy hour routine, or a countless number of other habits...they all make life "comfortable” or bearable, if you will. We are trained to behave in the same manner and follow the same routines because it is where we find comfort, security, and balance. The fact is that if you are of college age or older, you have already created routines or habits that give you some level of comfort and the slightest deviation is disruptive enough for you to realize that something just is not right. If you doubt this, try a little experiment. If you tend to hold your beverage in your right hand, switch to using your left hand for one day. Or if you regularly pray with your hands clasped together, shift the way you clasp your hands and see if it feels out of order, or distracting. I would suggest an experiment with study habits but if you are anything like the college student I was, its best not to disturb that routine, hah!

The truth is that change is one of the few things that will remain a constant in our lives. In each life season, there is change. We transition from college to the work world, we transition from the single life to married life, to parenting, to empty nesters, to coping with the loss of loved ones, to job relocations, to rebuilding from natural disasters, etc. All these things require us to change and adapt, yet rarely do we develop the tools or a plan to adequately transition. There are strategies that you can create to manage change and we will talk briefly about a couple of those strategies now.



Goal Setting

If you are unclear on what your goal should be, or how to get out of a rut, look at each area of your life. Spend time reflecting on the areas of your life and make mental notes of the areas that are working and the areas with a bit of dysfunction. Those areas may include family, friends, health, career, finances, physical/geographic location, hobbies, or your love life. Begin by determining on a scale of one to ten (ten being best) how you feel about each of those areas.

After you determine which area has the lowest number, or the area where you’d like to focus, think about what you can do to make that area rank higher on the scale, or even a ten! The process of thinking about what you can do to change the ranking is a great step in identifying objectives that will help you to create change. The next step is to identify goals that will give you the greatest opportunity to achieve the objective you desire. One useful guide in goal setting is to create “SMART” goals. SMART goals were developed by George Doran, Arthur Miller and James Cunningham in their 1981 article “There's a S.M.A.R.T. way to write management goals and objectives”. “SMART” stands for:

•  Specific – allows for focus on a specific course of action
•  Measurable – gives you the ability to determine progress
•  Attainable – or actionable in this case, meaning it requires action from you
•  Realistic – high probability of success given your resources and ability 
•  Timely - relates to when you will complete the objective.

Create your goals and make sure they are “SMART”! Once you establish your smart goals, identify the action steps that you can take to achieve your goals. The actions steps that you create are the roadmap to your breakthrough!

Now the quest begins. Your goals are defined, action steps are in order, and it is time to start the journey that will make your vision the new reality! The action steps are the start of your quest for change because, in many ways, making the action steps your new routine is figuratively like swimming against the current in a flowing river. You mind and body will resist complying with your attempt to move in a different direction. You may feel physically and emotionally uneasy, or even drained, and the only thing that will ensure lasting positive change will be your sheer determination. You will need to remain disciplined and consistent despite your feelings. More on discipline and consistency in our next edition!

Professional Coaching from Hope Byus LLC

For those of you who could use an accountability partner for ongoing extra inspiration, a life coach can help you to find out what you need and can help inspire you to get there. Our goal is to successfully support you in realizing your full potential and assist in giving your life a new direction. Our task oriented, collaborative sessions will help you to identify any problems and concerns that stand in the way of achieving your goals, and we will support you in applying the actions I shared earlier. We understand that breakthroughs require growth and growth requires vision followed by consistent action to successfully reach your goals.